Now we are free

My reemergence from nowhere is probably shocking, but now that I have been thrusted with too much of time to spare, and a bit too much stimulation, I have decided to blog again.

Why the sudden surge of time? I am now operationally ready. That's right. I have ORD-ed. In my previous post I did mention some of the goals I wished to achieve, and displeased as I am to reveal that I have not been able to attain my rank of sergeant, nor have I managed to clock 7k in kms to get my civilian license, I am relieved that I have managed to even ORD. Grateful am I also that I was able to go on my first and last military exercise to India from 29th Oct to 1st Dec.

India was probably the climax of my military life. After having been detained to a desk for about one whole year, I finally had a chance to be involved in a military operation although I was just a support element. The training was tough but I appreciated it, because the toughness reminded me of the fact that what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

My NS life has been dotted throughout with many lessons. I've met people and creatures from all walks of life, from all types of backgrounds, and with all kinds of quirks. I've loved, I've hated, I've pledged loyalty to and I've vowed vengeance against. And then I learnt that at the end of the day, there's no point having negative intentions and despising people because it could just be them who'll save you one day. I've learnt the power of networking and making friends who can for the previously mentioned reason, be a vital asset. I've also learnt to anticipate and embrace tragedies so when they come, you do minimal moping and more mopping up of the mess.

In short, I feel that the army has taught me well and I'm ready for the many new challenges I face in life. For what hasn't killed me has only made me stronger.

That is not to say I feel no trepidation for what lies ahead of me now. For now that I'm out of the army for the time being, I have been relieved of many responsibilities and given a new and extremely important one: responsibility for myself. I don't mean to sound boastful or dismissive, but for the longest time I've been taking care of the affairs of other people and striving to take care of the needs of everyone but my needs. I now must understand that no matter how altruistic I may be, I cannot sacrifice myself to the death. Especially now when I've been placed back inside an incredibly competitive world, which is something the army has shielded me, I now have to watch out for my back alone.

No matter, when trials come, they come. For now, I will enjoy my Christmas and New Year in peace, and in time to come, start to focus on greater things. In the meantime, I'm glad to join the ranks of civilians once again, and even though it is good to be free, I will always miss being a soldier, no matter how lousy a soldier I was, or no matter how ridiculously insignificant I may have been in the greater organisation, for being a soldier is inherently in my blood.