New year thus far

I screwd up one more time last two weeks. But now I'm a true believer in miracles, and I shall give myself one more chance. That's what life is about, falling and learning to get up again. Soon you learn to walk. At some point in time, you'll learn how to run. Some people learn how to soar, although flying is not exactly typical of humans...

Indeed, I feel like my soul has been sold to my work. I need to stay back late everyday trying my best to settle next day's stuff. My day has a very frustrating pattern, where everything moves very slowly in the morning, and by lunch time all the calls for me start, and my running around the office begins, and then the last one and a half hour of my 'office hours', which supposedly end at 1730, shows a screw up, which means that I have to continue striving for another 1.5 hours, and my work gets complete if things go well.

It's crazy, before my holiday, my problem was that we had too many exercises with two many drivers on off, trying to get rest. Now my problem is that we have too many exercises and shockingly, only 16 drivers to handle them. Somehow the higher HQ is a bit nutty; we send 40-50 over drivers overseas, and a good lot more have ORD-ed. Should've synced it so that our new drivers came. But I think they're coming soon! And I can't blame the higher leadership anyway, because my business is seriously a headache to handle. And mine especially tough when we've got so much demand with so little supply. As it is, I've become NO. 1 public enemy in my MT line since I'm the bad guy who is forced to push the drivers to go on exercise nearly every week. Even I feel it's cruel. But there's no denying that a driver has a much easier time than the combatants during the exercise. Think I don't mind going on exercises continually for weeks on end, I hate being stuck in an office, seriously.

Nevermind, things WILL get better. I always say this and the opposite happens, but I have faith. The only thing I can't really reconcile with this ardent faith of mine is the fact that most of the time my own actions are what screw me up and my life. I'm already two months into my job and I'm still making a lot of dire mistakes. One being that I'm not taking complete ownership of my duties, which seem extremely too much. The other being that I don't ask for help. There are two reasons why I still can't stabilise myself: the fact that my life is too hectic for me to actually reflect on what's going on, and the fact that I think the fact that I only had my upperstudy for two or three weeks before he was gone meant I didn't quite learn enough. It's too bad I didn't force him to take me with him with his daily activities so I knew exactly what I was in for. Nevertheless, he helped me a lot, and I'll never forget my first 'stay in' session with him, where he told me about everything. It made me feel comforted, and probably still helps me to hang on. I hope he's having a good time in New Zealand camouflaging vehicles!! WAHAHA.

So although my weeks are really hellish, I always can TGIF. Here I am now, I managed to sneak out at 5 30pm for the first time in years, and although I should've been worrying about an exercise that nearly never happened next week, I can actually relax now. But tmrw I gotta go back to camp and push more work -_-". Never mind, I'm (or have latenly been) a workaholic.

Pui.

So, now you know whether I have a life or not. I think I have a very interesting life. Haha.

Well, guess I won't make an appearance in a long time already. So adiosss