Please don't misinterpret me

I never saw the day I'd have to blog incessantly to maintain my reputation and to struggle to have people understand me.

Firstly, in no way was my entry entitled "On the most pressing issues within the last 24 hours" meant to degrade you nor was it fashioned to put anyone off. It was just a means of encouragement; the glimmer of light in the tunnel if you like over-dramatisation. Please don't take it in a negative way. Do I only say things to make other people feel bad? Indeed not. Please stop misunderstanding me I'm already so bloody misunderstood (hehe sounds like some kinda teen rambling).

Secondly, there was no indication anywhere in my blog that the J2s were not up to standard. I understand that they haven't played for long. Damn me if I were to be so mean by saying such a thing.

Now let me explain what I really meant by the whole entry.

If you hadn't noticed that Mr Ho was getting upset, something is wrong. If you hadn't noticed that the band was getting rowdy and uppity at certain times when Mr Ho wanted to talk, that's also quite wrong. The discipline I saw was not up to expectations. It doesn't have to be pipsqueak silent. What do I mean by discipline?

Don't see music as a physical thing in which you practice your guts out all day and you'll be pro. It's more a mental thing: a mental discipline. That means you channel all your mental energy into focusing what is going on during practice. Let me give you some practical examples. When you do self-practice, you don't just play a piece. You observe your sound. You consciously make sure you've got good air support, lipping/embouchure is correct, your intonation is correct, your air passages and lips, arms shoulders fingers close to the keyholes breathing correct posturecorrectyadayadayadayada. From all this, you realise it takes a lot of concentration and this is difficult to do. And I think we should strive for it during practice.

Another practical application: Mr Ho constantly gives us comments pertaining to our scores. If we were disciplined enough, we would try our best to jot down these things on our scores so that we can review them during practice. Please take time to compare your Amazonia score and your MNN score. See the difference. Having said that, I must also make it a point to use my pencil instead of just bringing it.

Given our actions during band prac the last few times, I think that we fall short of this kind of discipline I talk about. Now whether or not I'm right, is seriously up to you. Maybe I'm saying these things because I'm influenced by my own attitude which I am embarrassed to admit has been completely off-tune as well, but seeing it with my own eyes, I don't think I represent myself alone. On the other hand, maybe I'm being to judgemental and saying these things based on my expectations of pip-squeak silence during my Military band days. maybe maybe.

The exco and musicom are still rather fresh. We will organise the whole trip well, but it's a decision we must make actively and act upon NOW. By the time this is over, we would be ready for greater challenges.

But I think we need to push ourselves more than ever before especially after what Mr Ho said about bands who practice for a year before they perform overseas. Don't let me be all alone and go crazy by myself. I have this horible way of going ballistic when something important like a competition in band comes because in my ex-band, our conductors gave us a lot of pressure prior to such an event. And we always rose to the occasion. Keep your hats on everyone, don't lose your head, and we're sure to succeed!

P.S: To -_-: I'm awaiting your reply fervently!! I'm really eager to hear what good, no, perfect advice you have for us!

As for other comments including yours, -_-: I appreciate your comments very much. They are truly invaluable.

Morning, Noon and Night in Vienna and on Orient Express too

A Morning, Noon and Night in Vienna belongs to a musical genre preceding the operetta--a humorous play, with song. Interspersed is one of Suppé's earliest works. The overture to such a production never related to the story line. Its function was to get the attention of the audience1 quiet the house and set the scene for the entertainment. Even at the age of twenty-four, Suppé had a "feel" for how to attract the audience with a pleasant, unpretentious bit of fluff. The original stage comedy died the natural death of a mediocre entertainment whose form is no longer in vogue, but its charming overture lives on.

The lighthearted character of the play is apparent from the very beginning, as the dramatic opening statement by brass and winds is answered by a delicate pizzicato response two bars later. Only a composer with a sense of humor--and a secure position as music director of the theater--would take a chance on that kind of opening statement, especially so early in his career.
Though Suppé never intended a specific program for the piece, it doesn't need one. Put aside thoughts of serious drama, bitter struggle, earthshattering consequences. Listen, imagine and invent your own meaning. This music is just plain fun.

Orient Express
The BBC commissioned Orient Express in 1986 as its entry in the EBU New Music for Band Competition, where it won first prize.
In an attempt to find a pan-European subject, the composer chose the luxury train and the piece is a musical journey across Europe.
It opens with the hustle and bustle of a busy station and at last the train gets underway. A short moment of reflection leads back to the final stage of the journey and arrival at our final destination.

Very sparse info on our pieces...

Dear Veronica,

Dear Veronica,

I don’t belive in this “relaxed embouchure” and find the term very misleading. I do everything with a certain amount of controlled tension. Sometimes I use more tension than at other times. It is my method to apply tension at all times. When you are playing your Long tones, you need to have a certain amount of tension to ensure that you flute is not moving around while you play. This is a sure fire way to get all the notes all the time.
You should hold the flute between the thumb of the right hand and the knuckle of the left hand and whie pushing forward with the thumb of the right hand and pushing toward you with the left hand you will creat enough pressure on the chin to enable you to have the flexibility in the embouchure needed to keep everything under control.
Using the bottom lip to decide how much of the embouchure you are going to cover you can then manipulate the tone with the upper lip. You say you have full lips. Well you need to stretch the bottom lip initially and then release the sided so you have a straight covering in the middle of the bottom lip. This needs the careful direction of a good teacher.
I think it would not be a bad idea for everyone on the list to say where they are located, as this would enable me to recommend a teacher for you.
I think long tones as we understand them in the Moyse books and Moyse based methods are not so productive as they do not tesach you anything about the mechanism of the embouchure.
What you need to do is to start with b2 ( this is for flute players whose flutes do not have a low B) and with a tempo of 80 on the metronome play a B minor arpeggio in 8th notes. The exercise should sound like this, decending b,f#. d then ascending f# back to a half note B2. So b2,f#2,d2,f#2 long b2. When you do this you will notice you have to move your top lip to correct the pitch, color and dynamic of the tones, thus creating some feedback for your embouchure which you certainly do not get when you are playing the famous “long tones”.
When you have done this a number of times then do it a semi tone lower until you have covered the lower two octaves of the flute.
Practice singing this exercise, so you get the intervals right in your head. This is the best way to improve your intonation. Singing is also important as this helps with your projection.

Wise words from Sir James Galway

Going mad again

Alex once told me he'd rather be more human than musician. I could understand why.

Every now and then I'm compelled to think about what I'm going to do with my music once next year is over. My term in band will be over and I no longer play the piano (that was four years ago). Is there any use to continue playing the flute even though there are possible avenues such as the philharmonic youth or NIESB? I mean I'm really of mediocre standard. Don't say anything like I'm good or anything because you know that I have expectations for myself that I fall short of.

And last time, at least my problem was that I wasn't learning as fast as I wanted to. Now, the problem is that I feel like I'm deproving instead. Basket. This is intolerable. It seems like the more I try, the less I do so in the end and the worse I get.

The worst part is that some people have piano grade 8s or diplomas, as well as Theory grade 8s to show off. It's these people who can truly say they love music even when they don't really do so (I'm not implying they don't love it). But it doesn't matter because they've got grades darnit. I don't feel like I'm worthy enough to go for grades although I hear it's so easy you can sit for a grade 8 immediately. Cause at the same time, I feel that grades don't mean anything. Practicing your guts out for a few songs doesn't mean that you're good at music. It's such a vast realm that a grade won't even let you see a peek of it. And besides I'm not good enough.

Why this sudden change in confidence ever since I came out of secondary school. Perhaps I used to bloom the most in secondary school because I somewhat had a teacher (Marcus) and even after that there were people who trusted me as their section leader. So I had confidence because I knew people believed in me. I swear I got so far because I knew that Marcus believed in me so much. Now there's no such environment, and people are not in any position to take tips from me in music cause I realise that it's a totally different ball game.

I miss being led.

I cannot stand this environment where I feel all alone without anyone to inspire me to do my best. Sounds retarded but it's true. I think without Marcus I would be a nobody. Without Hong Mei's encouragement I'd be the worst SL and I probably would have quit.

Now that I think about it, since I recognise this vastness that is music, there is really no point that I continue with it because I cannot make it a big part of my life easily unless I'm mad enough to do it. So I hope I become mad one day.

I went to the Esplanade library today and I saw this guy (I think he's from ACSi). Short bespectacled chap with a ACS pullover I think. Was squirelling to and fro the CDs to scores to the radio thingamajig. He was listening to some deadly opera and I thought man if this guy appreciates opera, he's defintely dead into classical. Opera and theatre was the thing of the day at that time. But I wondered, he enjoys classical so much, he's probably holding perhaps a piano diploma and is ready to go to a conservatory already for further study, but what happens if I throw jazz at him. Or even simple clean rock. Chinese orc music? What about music from the Carribean? What would he know of it? Would he still be able to appreciate such pieces?

After watching the movie Swing Girls, I realised one important concern was the disdain of the jazz style by classical players because of it's distinct and alien beat and rhythms. After thinking about the guy in esplanade this was driven deeper into me. I strongly believe in what my ex-conducotr Mr Lester Lim Choon (something) said about music: how it is such a big world and that everyone should learn how to appreciate every genre there is, or it's simply not doing music justice. Disrespecting jazz is disrespcting music fullstop. Classical music IS NOT music alone; jazz is not music by itself. So I dislike people who enjoy pop music and say they luuurve music because clearly these dingbats would sleep in a concert that I might go to. So I'm thankful that so far in the band scene in Singapore, we've all been taught to enjoy music of all genres. As it is, the contemporary music we listen to has got its amalgamation of classical with its own essence of pop in it, so that helps in letting us be curious to check out other types of music.

In saying all this, it's brought in me a greater awe of music. It's just disappointing how ignorant I tend to be towards it. Maybe I think too much and all that but I think this is all in the name of appreciation.

Music is a common language that everyone and anyone understands, so they say. But the lingering question is why do I still do music? My gosh, few years back I would've never dreamt of saying that. This is a damn scary question. But anyway, my other problem is...anyone can enjoy music. I know many peopl who don't play instruments but enjoy listening to classical music. That's the first type of people. I and you band members belong to this second type of people that enjoy music but can engage in it by playing, thereby participating in it in a higher level. What should I do later on in life? Give up being the second type and become the first type, or what?

Why am I asking these questions? It's scaring me...

I wish I could remain more human than a musician. All musicians go mad. Show me one who doesn't.

Swing Girls!

Man! I can't believe I took so long to watch the movie! It's absolutely fabulous! Ok the story line is a bit conky, but it's highly entertaining especially to jazz lovers. A very endearing tale about how bandsmen come from nothing to heroes. Inspiring indeed!

Haha! One of the bands in the competition in the movie played 'March! Beyond Critical Point'. Lol

And I've decided that girls who play jazz are cuter than girls who play pianos...haha

On the most pressing issues within the last last 24 hours

The weather has been gloomy lately. But not as gloomy as a humongous war that seems to have erupted between GEPers and Mainstream students. Check out this website.

http://www.todayonline.com/articles/85604.asp

The author of the letter has a blog which I visited. Check out the amount of flaming she's received. To get there, navigate by clicking the hyperlink to the Students Sketchpad and then search in the past entries for a hyper link looking like 'familiarise yourself with this first'. Or something like that.

The retaliation that the author, who is in GEP, got is astounding. Most of the flames lashed out at her for calling mainstream students immature as stated by the author, as well as other things. So angst bubbles from the mainstream party, rebutting that her comments and snobbishness was demonstration of immaturity, while the brave GEPer stands the storm and fights back. In the end, no one wins because no one addresses the issue in proper perspective. They're more involved in proving who is the more 'mature' type, and in the process they inflict damage on each other instead of resolving a simple issue like this.

To round up my thoughts, I believe that the parent who wrote the letter has every right to feel the way he does towards the GEP. I have a brother in the programme and I realised that he learns things I leart in Sec 3! If you hate PW, they have to do more projects than we do! The poor kids really have as hectic a life as we do...and some of them can manage, just like the author of the article. Naturally parents would be alarmed at the pressure they go through. I think that the writer did not show restraint in her attitude exuded through the article and she failed to take into account a balanced point of view. Her selfishness did get her into hot soup indeed and I hope she learns. Mainstream students, though less 'gifted' than gifted students, will become a fully-fledged contributor in society as much as a GEPer will. Holding themselves in high esteem is not only a sign of arrogance but a sign of ignorance to the real truth.

No mention of maturity here. The most striking thing of the whole war is who is more 'mature'. I have given up this quest to seek maturity because we overate it. Remeber the times in secondary school when we members all wanted to show how mature we all are and show that we are able to think. So we get onto the MSN groups and flame the seniors. We question their authority and tell them they deserve no respect for making us do push-ups in the sun and grilling our knuckles (this anyway, the seniors had to go through). So we, the prospective leaders, decide to take matters into our hand before the real leaders do anything, defend ourselves, and spit poison back at the members. In the meantime, the leaders take action and not many people listen to them. So leaders resort to a shout-out session where the members just say anything they want to the leaders. One asks for more direction. She herself has no direction.

The whole passage sounds vague. Don't bother deciphering who 'we' is. Only some people will understand what I say, the rest of you don't have to know but I hope you get gyst of it. People all want to show how mature they are and create trouble in the end. Whether or not they performed an act of maturity as they claimed is debatable. But as for me, there's no such thing as a mature person. Adults, and even politicians make immature decisions, so how can a freshman in school decide to have maturity beyond the skies all of a sudden?

We cannot live a mature life to just show how 'mature' we are. I believe in something more noble called wisdom. They say knowledge is knowing what to do, whereas wisdom is doing what you know. I think this sums up what we call 'maturity'. To mature is just a process that goes on as you grow up. It could be in the form of physique, skill or knowledge. Maturity is a great thing and we should all aspire to become mature, but this 'maturity' can prove to be shallow, confusing or even damaging when it is not accompanied by something called responsibility. A great man once said "Maturity is the acceptance of responsibility". If we act in an irresponsible way, where we're unable to use what we call maturity in the proper way (due to lack of experience or let's say lack of 'maturity' in being mature), its effects can be disastrous. For example, by not taking into account the views of parents or the feelings of mainstream students, or by stirring anger and hatred instead of asking for answers peacefully, the end result is further catastrophe.

I believe in consciously seeking knowledge and becoming wiser. I will show restraint in trying to show how 'mature' I am in order to impress people (and risk the above tragedies), but I will use what I'm sure i'm able to do for the betterment of those around me. Now I'll cut the preaching and get to the next point.

During band today, I could see Mr Ho nearly kicking up a temper. We overdid it today with our lackadaisical attitudes. Let's try our utmost best next time when we play. I'm sure that it isn't entirely our fault because we don't get enough time as we should to practice (though we can certainly change our own circumstances to do so), and other things such as fatigue and damned cold aircon, but we should at least pay attention and make a conscious effort to play to the best that we can. Let us at least try to remember what Mr Ho tells us so that he doesn't get annoyed when we commit the same mistakes. There's something called a pencil which we can use to jot down notes on our score. Time to make our scores as messy as they were during the SYF period and Etude era.

Like Mr Ho said, let's not concentrate entirely on the shopping and fun. We are really going to Hong Kong to hone our playing abilities as well as pick up new things. Our parents could've given us a good holiday and we could always go to Singapore's classy shopping centres to shop (anyway I hear prices in HK are high). Also, I know that this period is a time for having fun and going for outings and chalets and all, but let's do some soul-searching and prioritising. Make the trip something important to you. Don't spoil the 30 year legacy of finesse just because we under-performed in an overseas country. Our seniors and our juniors will hate us for what we did. Fine apologies for making such a stark statement. But seriously, I want to give this my best shot. We should all give it our best shot.

From now on, I encourage us to be more active during band lessons at least by jotting down notes. Make sectionals as fulfilling as possible by reducing the talking time and dilly-dallying. If possible, take back your scores and instrument and practice. If possible, do home practice without songs, but just run through all the scales, tone exercises, and other exercises you think will help in the repertoire (fingering exercises, arpeggios, tonguing etc.).

With that I hope that we can all enjoy our stay in HK, come back and let the school glower over us because we did a great job and because we represent the school on an international level. National Junior College. By the way, don't forget that we're representing Singapore too!

Thanks musicom for being great. We gotta step things up a bit ok?

Orchard Road and the killer birds

Today, I went to Orchard Road with my mom and siblings, as well as my mom's friend's and children. That makes it two mothers, two teens, two maids, three imbeciles and two babies (NB: I refer to those noisy little 4 to 7 year olds as imbeciles).

And so we stroll down the great stretch glitzy shopping centres, fighting against a river of human beings. If you think that humanity is weird, come visit Orchard Road and you'd realise that humanity is somewhat beyond bizzarre. Watch the way people dress, see their techni-coloured hairstyles and company. It will shock you.

And the whole D'Souza and Chacko battalion arrive at the destination: Takashimaya Shopping Centre. What for? Sesame street was in town! Oh joy to the little kids. I wasn't that reluctant to go myself since I grew up with Sesame Street. But when we reached there at quarter to 4, the kids had already crowded the place and there was no space for our kids. WHAT? The show was supposed to start at 4!! Moral of the story: Kiasuism is a tumourous growth that will never stop growing. Oh, but the most important lesson, come half an hour before a show next time (oh how ironic).

And when the Sesame street gang started dancing, my sister decides finally she'd stop bugging my exhausted mom and come to me. I tried taking her to a better spot to watch the show but in the end she decided that it would be more fun to play with all the toys instead. Sigh. So the torture I had to go through to carry her was meaningless. At least she had a great time. I guess this is good training for becoming a dad, cuz kids aren't ever gonna let you do what you want them to do.

Highlight of the walk: I was walking back to Orchard MRT when a bird-brained pigeon flew just a few inches over my head, barely chopping it off with its large wingspan. I led the whole battalion of kids in chasing these birds that nearly killed me. I cant believe how stupid birds have become...they just wait for you to catch them before they try to fly off. Ah well. So the part of Singapore that was at Orchard Road saw these weird kids chasing pigeons with passion. I decided to call off the human-bird skirmish when I remembered the severity of the new thing called bird flu.

In conclusion, my first visit to Orchard in this whole year has been absolutely...weird. Yet the sights and sounds were absolutely astonishing. I walked down that place and realised that people are absolutely weird (and I thought I was the only one).

Nuts...I feel so air-headed cuz I haven't had my afternoon nap and I didn't sleep 11 hours last night (I just slept 10 hours)

Numa Numa my day

Dragostea Din Tei (Phonetics)
Mi-a-hii
Mi-a-huu
Mi-a-haa
Mi-a-ha ha
Mi-a-hii
Mi-a-huu
Mi-a-haa
Mi-a-ha ha
Mi-a-hii
Mi-a-huu
Mi-a-haa
Mi-a-ha ha
Mi-a-hii
Mi-a-huu
Mi-a-haa
Mi-a-ha ha

1) Allo, salut, sint yel, un hydook,
she teraw, youbeera mah, primesh der, vericheera,

2) Allo, Allo, sint yel, Picasso,
Tiam dat beep, she sen voynic, un dar sege ti notes cher nimeek

[Chorus]
vrais a pleche dar numa numa i-ay
numa numa i-ay numa numa numa i-ay
kipul tow she dragosta din tay, ma mintesc day oki ti-ay
vrais a pleche dar numa numa i-ay
numa numa i-ay numa numa numa i-ay
kipul tow she dragosta din tay, ma mintesc day oki ti-ay

3) Desoon, set spoon, cheseet, ah kum
Allo, youbeera mah, sint yel, vericheera

4) Allo, Allo, sint yarshio, Picasso,
Tiam dat beep, she sen voynic, un dar sege ti notes cher nimeek

[Chorus]
vrais a pleche dar numa numa i-ay
numa numa i-ay numa numa numa iay
kipul tow she dragosta din tay, ma mintesc day oki ti-ay
vrais a pleche dar numa numa i-ay
numa numa i-ay numa numa numa i-ay
kipul tow she dragosta din tay, ma mintesc day oki ti-ay

Mi-a-hii
Mi-a-huu
Mi-a-haa
Mi-a-ha ha
Mi-a-hii
Mi-a-huu
Mi-a-haa
Mi-a-ha ha
Mi-a-hii
Mi-a-huu
Mi-a-haa
Mi-a-ha ha
Mi-a-hii
Mi-a-huu
Mi-a-haa
Mi-a-ha ha

[Chorus]
vrais a pleche dar numa numa i-ay
numa numa i-ay numa numa numa i-ay
kipul tow she dragosta din tay, ma mintesc day oki ti-ay
vrais a pleche dar numa numa i-ay
numa numa i-ay numa numa numa i-ay
kipul tow she dragosta din tay, ma mintesc day oki ti-ay

Yes this belongs to the annoying Numa Numa dance song which is currently repeating itself over and over again in my head. Can't help it much if I've heard it at least 9 times in three days in different places over Singapore!!! By the way, this song is in Romanian I believe. Wow, exotic ain't it?

Guess what. If you feel lucky, go down to the Shell Station next to Tan Boon Liat building. I happened to go by there today to pick up some food. I queued, and as I looked at the person emerging from a van outside the shop, I saw this slim woman with a chubby face with hair flying over the place. Know who she is? Here are some clues: chances are you've supported her in a local singing competition last year. You'll sometimes see her in the newspaper advertising for a slimming company. THAt's right, she's Olinda Cho.

"Did they say we can come at so ad so time...late a bit can?" blablabla. The other Mediacorp or whichever escort people babbled to her. Sigh. Once they become stars they can get quite curt and rude towards those who look after her. Sheesh, she gets spoilt and they tolerate her nonsense cause they need her to perform in their shows. Anyway, I guess she was at Shell to blow up all the money she spent at the slimming centre. Hehehe.

As I exitted from the shop I peered into the van and saw our good friends Sly and Taufik. Sly...yuks. Think he bleached his hair. Taufik had pink lips. Oooooh most interestingly there was Beverly Morata chatting with them. Pity I didn't get to see much of her. Ackk...

Nevermind that...

Later on in the evening I attended AMB's second 'Together concert". The objective of the concert is to promote the recruits to privates in a public ceremony as well as let parents see their children playing. In this way, the parents are able to see what their children have been doing in those billions of hours that they spend in band, and hopefully parents will be able to understand and accept their children's absence since they know they're spending time doing good things. Very effective indeed. I think this was done because some parents in the past were complaining about how much time their kids spend in band.

Anyway, the school is about 90% renovated, and it's totally different now. I happened to try out the new ground level, and somehow I landed up in the hall. Oh man. Anyway, the school looks good though it has a slightly offensive mixture of colours. The toilets have finally been made bigger and more sanitised, so we dont have pools of pee lying around the cubicles anymore (hopefully). Boys won't have to worry about girls seeing them in action when the door opens, too. So thank goodness some things have been made right in Anderson. Yeah.

Today, some interesting people came to the concert. Firstly, my ex-bio teacher who has been on maternity leave came for the concert. Everytime I visit Anderson I look for her, but she's eluded me this whole year. So it was a joy when I saw her without expecting to today. In fact, I saw her darling daughter and husband too. I learnt that the rumour that her husband was macho and muscular was just merely a ploy to get Danial to stop crushing on her (no pun intended especially the crushing part). I loved the way her daughterr danced to the music and I hope I have children like her one day.

Secondly, I met the new principal of Anderson before any of her own students get to see her. She's really young. Apparently she was featured in the newspaper for being youngest principal so far (beating my ex-principal of Anderson, Mrs Tan). So it seems that Anderson will always have young blood leading her. A striking feature of her is how she speaks just like Mrs Tan. All ex Andersonians oughta check out how she replicates Mrs Tan's signature style of making speeches (the type that makes your eyes roll).

Finally, the most important thing I took back from the concert is meeting old friends. Sadly not all came back but those who did made my day. Also, today was memorable because I remember during last year's Together concert (I apologise for its date being 9th of September. Who planned the concert???), I told myself taht the band is able to continue without us as their leaders. And it's like a father's joy to see his son grown up and able to face the world on his own. I'm very proud of the current flute section and of Seow Hui's leadership. In fact, she's not only done a good job with the section, she's doing an excellent job with the band. I knew she was THE future leader of the band the day she stepped into my section. I'm reminded of Marcus and myself, when he changed me to the flute section and later entrusted me with the mantle of leading her. I guess as Mr Lim stated with the adoption principle during my last visit, the Anderson flute section certainly has some kind of tradition in that sense. :)

Well done Anderson flute section. Well done AWE (AMB). I'm glad that I came from this band and not any other. Even if I had the chance to restart my life in a GWH band, I would still choose you.

My heart belongs to AMB!

Sorry

Sheesh. I've been going ballistic lately. I apologise for my absolutely repulsive attitude. After thinking about it, I've been blowing up over small issues and making a fool of myself. Maybe I shouldn't be all that defensive and not swell up in my ego to look big. And indeed I have been making a lot of other mistakes, from the begining of my previous posts.

Sorry to all whom I've disappointed and disgusted, in particular Vanessa. And perhaps other band members.

In all the gazillion words in my previous entries, though they may have sounded like a desperate attempt to defend myself, there is actually an acknowledegement that I am in the wrong. I just don't wish to be called the sinner when I still think there are some outstanding issues on your side. I never believed that there is only one party who is wrong. So forgive my insolence, and hopefully as I have learnt a few things, you have learnt a few things as well.

But ultimately, I'm not going to live my life to please others. I will just do what I deem right. No one can stop me from doing that. Yes I may be stubborn but it's a good thing. A little of something is always good, no?

So I disregard any accusation made against me, and I've learnt from them. Other people can sometimes be useful in helping you realise who you really are.

But may I please request next time that you be more forthcoming with your comments. I am extremely paranoid and I really ask for forgiveness for thinking that you were back-stabbing me, when you weren't. You may think that I have a tendency to be defensive, but sometimes I really need a chance to explain myself, so respect that.

Sigh. As for the way I carry myself...I guess it's in my blood. What to do: I'm Greek, my grandfather was the leftenan-general of the Indian army, and as it is I was brought up in a military band where you had to look right all the time to intimidate the rest. It's only a facade anyway. Shucks...what can I do about my Greek blood man. haha. As it is my nose is so large so it is easier to stick it up high in the air. BAH

I'm seriously a freak. At some moments I act as if I'm a juvenile retard, completely humiliating myself at all times, and otherwise I'm this stuck up fool who is hard to work with. How IRONIC.

Objective and Subjective

ob·jec·tive (b-jktv)adj:

• Of or having to do with a material object.
  
• Having actual existence or reality.
  
• Uninfluenced by emotions or personal prejudices: an objective critic. See Synonyms at fair1.
  
• Based on observable phenomena; presented factually: an objective appraisal.

sub·jec·tive (sb-jktv)adj.:

• Proceeding from or taking place in a person's mind rather than the external world: a subjective decision.
  
• Particular to a given person; personal: subjective experience.
  
• Moodily introspective.
  
• Existing only in the mind; illusory.

So what do you think? Can advice ever be objective or subjective?

Think about it...

In response to a comment

Thanks to the writer of the comment to the post. I think what I really needed was some public opinion instead of talking to myself in this virtual realm.

Finding scores: I admit I was very laidback in this and yes it's true that I didn't really bother to get the scores on time. Since I didn't do it on time, everything went against me. Firstly, there was the problem that the secondary school bands all closed for EOY exams, then we had promos to study for, plus also got Open day. If I had not procrastinated and been more far-sighted, all this wouldn't have happened. In fact, I am compelled to thank those who did help me get scores for helping me. I'm not too experienced in this thing of getting scores and I defintely do not have a good pool of contacts but that's no excuse. I've learnt instead that if you are unable to do something by yourself, by all means get help from others. A horrible character trait that has developed in me is this obstinance to do things myself, which I might explore some other time.

Do not doubt at any time that we do not do our homework. But maybe my problem is that being domineering, I may tend to do Alex's stuff too. Which is why I seem to disagree. You say PPs tend to disagree. Can you be more specific? Don't feel scared to say that I have a tendency to disagree because it will help in my process of negative feedback. However, Alex and I have decided that we need to collaboraate more and not leave each other with scores. If we need to make a comment to each other, it's probably the best thing to do because making the comment at the right time might help improve the music tremendously. As you've all heard, a stitch in time saves nine. So do not get put off by our communicating with each other during band. If Alex and I are comfortable with it, then you don't have to worry. If it starts tension builds between us, come in between and shake us up. Maybe this whole issue is due to my character of being upfront and frank. And I feel this is a good quality. But I will control. In the meantime do not worry. We will do our work well but you must do yours too.

Touching on criticism, it's not like I cannot take criticism at all. As you can see, I'm very analytical about comments made about me or anyone else for that matter. As you can see, small comments you make, can result in whole passages of thought for me. So I need proper information. Giving me ambiguous comments frustrates me. But saying things behind my back peeves me. It's completely unethical (I kinda like that word) to do that and your conscience knows why. So I'd prefer it if you can be more upfront and tell me in my face. If I can do it why can't you? Being upfront and frank does not equate to being egoistic. But...

If you tell someone to change his ways when you clearly don't do what you say, it's hypocricy. I cannot tolerate that. That's what peeves me the most. Now I'm not claiming to be a saint and I'm not a hypocrite but I very much would like to not be one, so I make the effort to change. Really. Most of the time I get depressed when I'm aware I'm a hypocrite. One instance of hypocricy that I lashed back at was during a hit-out session we had in August. Band leaders lined up in front and allowed the band members to tell them what they didn't like about each person. A weak way of getting the public's opinion, but it really got alot of result. One thing that struck me was how band members wer asking for there to be a 'direction for the band'. Fair enough. We got quite a lot of lashing for our apparent lack of direction (which wasn't a lie) but I replied to them that they had to have their own direction while talking about the band's direction. If you want to demand for something, you have to make a move prior to that. You want there to be direction in the band, you must set a direction for it yourself before the authorities agree to it. Things don't drop down from the sky. Take terrorists for example. They want political change, they take action through political means (although their assasinations, bombings etc are not worth admiration.

I do not tell people to change until I'm sure that I am changed myself. When AMB's percussion section seemed to be slowly disintegrating a few years back, I did not want to tell the SL what I thought his problem in unifying the section was because I know that I did not know what unity was myself. I view egoism as being hypocritical. Suppose I say "Your section is blablabla. You have no unity lalala" when my section was no different, that is utmost ego. Wouldn't it be better if I said "I realise that your problem may be blablabla. But I admit that I don't quite understand the situation fully, and I am in no position to tell you what to do. In fact I have no right to tell you what to do. Why don't we work on this together, since I just know this is the problem?" Saying this not only is an act of humility, it is compels the other person to take your words seriously, and it establishes acountability. Wooohooo!

So I'm not all that ego after all eh?

I've no idea why people think that I am proud and ego. I think the only difference between me and other people is that I speak in a different way and am more open. In a way, I carry myself in a distinct way. I voice my thoughts out in a more active manner. It may appear to you that I think I'm right all the time because I am more forceful in my speech, but if you find me egoistic, clearly you think I'm wrong. And you're right. In that case, aren't you being egoistic too?

This whole problem about ego is just your own problem. If you feel many people criticise others for being egoistic not because they truly are, but because they've been hurt by that person. Now whether his egoistic remarks are true or not are supposed to be examined, but in the end, I'm sure you feel that way towards him because you don't like what he said of YOU right? This just strengthens my view that people just want others to say things that they want to hear only. It's becoming a global pandemic.

In the end, everyone is as egoistic as the other. So don't tell me things I know ok, -_- ? Anyway, that wasn't meant to hurt you in any way. I really treasure your presence here! Thank you for being my first hate tagger! I'll remember you forever. But seriously. Hear me out. Hopefully I'll make sense to you and you won't make coments like these. And you're welcome to my blog anytime :)

Sonic Junior

This is a game I just tried out today, made by the same software that was used by the previous game. This game differs from the previous because though it is not very similar to the original Sonic games, it has an element of cuteness, and it isn't as unethical. Hehe.

The story is unbelievably nutty though, but nice cause it seems cute. Sonic comes out of his house in Green Grove Zone (or one of those nice forest zones) and Amy is waiting outside. Obviously they've tied the knot because in the middle lies Sonic Jr., still sleeping very innocently.

Amy: Sonic have you heard? Dr Robotnik is coming back to get us!
Sonic: Is that true? Oh no. When will he ever give up. I need to stay home and keep us safe. Looks like only Sonic Jr. can go and defeat Dr. Robotnik now.
Amy: Well then, wake up that little lazy bones!
Sonic Jr: (wakes up) Alright enough of the shouting. What's wrong?
Sonic: Dr Robotnik is coming back to get us. I need to stay back and guard our house.
Sonic Jr.: Isn't that the guy who keeps on trying to take over the world? So let me guess, dad has to stay back and look after the place, leaving me to go and stop his forces from coming closer?
Sonic: Yes
Sonic jr: Well, I'd better get going...

And the game begins.

Now I can't understand what kind of father's love Sonic has to send his son. But maybe he finds ridding of Dr. Robotnik such an easy task that he finds it safe to leave it to his son. Ah well...

The moves are quite novel. Sonic Jr. is unable to superspin dash probably owing to his young age, but he can do other cool things like sticking too ceilings and walls. Hehe. Also, he can run in one place before taking off. But he's not very fast either, due to his age I guess. Ah well...

But I think this idea of Sonic's progeny is really cute. Look at the kind of conversations that result...

Sonic Jr. meets Knuckles at Hidden Palace Zone.

Sonic Jr: Uncle Knuckles, what are you doing here?
Knuckles: I'm the guardian of the blablablablabla. I see you have a chaos emerald. Give it to me. If not, I'll have to end this with a fight.
Sonic Jr.: No uncle Knuckles. I don't want to fight. I want to help you!
Knuckles: Then give me the emerald!
Sonic Jr. runs off with Knuckles in pursuit. The chasing scene is really adorable, like a little child running away from an older man who's gonna beat him black and blue (wait he is blue).

After winning the fight...
Sonic Jr.: I'm really sorry for the fight, uncle Knuckles.
Knuckles: That's ok. I underestimated you. You're just like your father. Now go young one, and collect all the emeralds and bring them back to me.

I don't know what's the logic behind the chaos emeralds, but I think that Sonic Jr.'s innocence is what makes this game really endearing. hahaha

Don't play this game

Don't play Neo Sonic Universe. It is a lousy game home-brewn from some nonsense guy using the Klik & Play software. For your info, Klik & Play is a simple software that you can use to make your own computer games, and it is only capable of doing so much. It is not powerful enough to reproduce a Sonic the Hedgehog game.

For one thing, it is absolutely exasperating when they keep the Superspin Dash move for Sonic, but it goes nowhere. For those of you who have no clue what it is, it's the move where he becomes a blue blur ball, stationary in one place but gaining potential energy before getting thrust forward at a great speed while rolling. In Neo Sonic Universe, he does everything stated above minus the great speed. This effectively nullifies his most devastating attack. Even in the two player versus mode, the Superspin dash (though it's able to take him further) does not ensure Sonic's immunity to attack. Now this is idiotic. Imagine you're rolling at breakneck speed in one position. I think that even if Sonic launches a rolling jump on you he wouldn't be strong enough to hurt you. So dumb!!

Then, he accelerates uniformly and starts running at max at a low speed. BUT HE'S SONIC THE HEDGEHOG! He has no speed limit!! In the original game, his acceleration is initally quite slow, then it increases geometrically and finally his legs start spinning into a blur at a relatively high speed. Where's the thrill of speed in the game? Apart from that, the game doesn't give him as much flexibility to move while he rolling jumps. And his kicking off walls isn't anything to be wowed at.

The game environment is nothing to be proud of. Although it's quite forgivable that they rip scenes off original Sonic games, the layout of traps and Badniks is absurd! In fact, I deem this game unethical.

For example, most of the map consists of bumpers and balloons that hover over heights (heights meaning that if you fall to the bottom of the screen, you lose a life). You have to bounce your character to the other side in order to activate a door.
UNETHICAL!!!
Correction: Heights are rarely found in original Sonic games. Even when they are found in great amounts, there'll be a 'safety net' at the bottom which might save you but frustrate you by taking you to the begining of the whole complex. Even then, they'd provide flat platforms for you to concentrate and have enough space to make your moves, not stupid bouncers that will confuse you.

Badniks can sometimes be seen clumped altogether, concentrated at one area. The worst part is when they are put at the begining of the stage where Sonic hasn't collected rings yet. Also, badniks simply just walk up and down. How uncreative. And how...
UNETHICAL!
Correction: Badniks must be evenly spaced out so they don't overlap each other. If you wish to have them put together, they mustn't be the roaming types, rather the type that are static. Badniks come in different shapes and colours. So they should have different functions. Lastly, it is completely UNETHICAL to keep badniks at the begining of a stage where Sonic is ring-less. Always allow him to collect rings first before fighting.

The worst and most unforgivable part. Sonic starts with 5 lives!

UNETHICAL!

Correction: How could you break the mighty tradition of starting a game with 3 lives??

Indeed this game is sorely disappointing. Especially with a nutty begining where Shadow just meets Sonic, says that he isn't Shadow, and then proceeds to blasting Sonic. Completely anti-climactic.

However, the battle mode (versus mode), although simple, is quite addictive. The music is quite nice. And the fighting still a bit nutty but who can resist a good fight with your brother once in a while eh? But Shadow is frustrating. Does some stupid attack that you can hardly avoid. Blearghh...

Another Sonic game review coming up!!!

Free

The great challenge that plagued every student who dared to venture into a JC after the golden age of the first three months...

Project Work!!!!

As for me, it's over. You read that right!!!

I'M FREE!!!

(Alleluia song in the background. Super shame on me for not knowing where it came from!!!!!)

Now isn't that a more lively begining to my entry compared to the previous depressing ones??

Ah well. There is unfathomable liberation when your academic term ends.

There's only one problem now.

What am I going to do during my holidays? If I were to ask what should I do during the school term, it would mean I'm so heavy-laden with work that I wouldn't know where to start. On the contrary, I feel like I'm so free that I don't know what to do anymore.

I plan to go to Esplanade library. Defintely. There I plan to search for a nice song and try to borrow it. Preferably, I'll try to borrow Chaminade concerto that James Galway played (just for fun :P), but I'm also thinking of getting a piece written for a woodwind chamber group. I'm supposing I'd find the normal one which comprises flutes, oboe, clarinets and bassoon, but if I can find a song which fits in more parts (though I doubt I'd be successful), then won't that mean more fun for us? I think having a woodwind chamber group would be a good way to wind down after the Band-it! concert.

Hmm. How could I forget all about it. Well, I'd say that I enjoyed myself quite a bit la (more so till the end when something magical happened to my flute. Sounded richer somehow; think Cindy did something to it with her magic breath). I think that there was more of a performing spirit during the concert than the rehearsals. Maybe the greatest downfall was the lack of cohesion between sections but it's not in my interests to make my band sound bad on this blog :P. But shamefully, what I feared would happen, did happen. The begining of the second half was a screw up. We waited for years before the curtains opened, and then the percussionist didn't bring the chair. So the first row didn't have enough space. Sigh. I knew it. If Mr Leong had let me take charge of the situation on Wednesday, that thing wouldn't have happened because I knew the QMs might miss out the small detail. But it doesn't matter, because it gave the audience more time to scream out the names of their 'band idol' (though I'm jealous that Melvin got 90% of the screams. Sheeeesh).

Next stop: Hong Kong. Let's relax for a while before we really turn the heat up!

P.S: I realised, while playing audience today, that Cindy has this reaaally musical voice. Haha. I don't know why but I think it's the first time she's spoken loudly with more volume. I swear I could've spent hours listening to her. Her voice is even more musical than the voice of ahheeeeemmmm. No wonder my flute suddenly became different after she played it. Ok, better stop here before you get the wrong idea.....

Erk.

Nevermind the previous entry. It is quite normal of me to give in to lunacy when I'm unable to enjoy the simple pleasures that band can give.

My thoughts are in a jumbled mess once again so I'm gonna try to bring it into fastidious organisation.

Criticism

Had a chat with a friend and blew up because of a comment made of the PPs that must've been trivial, but I made it into something big. Some people are say we discuss scores during band practice. I was more interested as to why it was "Soooo much time" spent doing so. Because the most I do is give one or two comments from my seat. That I disagree with Alex, I took that comment seriously because I admit I do. But to think that we two cannot disagree, you're saying we are perfect and therefore don't exist. And I pride myself for my inability to keep quiet at times I strongly believe in something. I would rather share a piece of my mind with him than not. And he has every right to refuse me. Same goes for me. It shows how much we respect each other that we can talk to each other freely.

But why I got so angry was because I will not take criticism without basis. Someone criticised me for my inability to take criticism properly. But it's true. You cannot take the process of criticism lightly!

1) Don't say something based on your feelings. Your mind can change depending on your mood. It is a highly inaccurate means of criticism.

2) Don't listen to the crowd and join in. You have a mind of your own so don't get influenced by the majority's opinion. If you agree that they're right, then agree. Don't feel ashamed to think that they're wrong.

3) Instead, base everything on careful analysis. Seriously think about whether what you want to say is true. Get a balanced view. This is what Social Studies and similar Humanities subjects have been teaching us, not to exclude GP.

These are a few things I've learnt in life. Which is why if you said that I would really like to know what you mean. It's not a threat. I fear the loss of confidence between band and conductors. That would be tragic. This thing has caused me much strife in my last band due to my paranoid nature. Please spare me the torment. I shall graciously end with a thank you.

Communication

This is an issue I've been dealing with all my life. As you can see in my last entry it took up a small deal of my entry in terms of space but the whole entire paragraph was about it. Why is it that I have this feeling some people don't understand the way I speak, or my body language, or my art etc. It's disturbing because I, with my natural flare for anything artistic, have to master this skill, and why does it seem that I am not even passing the grade? To conduct, non-verbal communication is crucial. I try my best. Am I not succeeding? Mr Ho, I respect him because the band sounds totally different with the baton in his hands. Haha. I should know the feeling when someone powerful waves the wand compared to someone who's lower than a beginner. Any feedback?

Another problem I have is that of writing. I dislike it when I write a whole chunk of words and no one understands what I say. It's frustrating.

My ugly 'Craigish' nature

I have mentioned I am paranoid. Mao Zedong had that nature too. In fact many leaders in the past were. That is a despicable attitude. I think this thing developed in me when I kept on having people tell on me when I was in Primary school. Small things like I let someone else copy my homework. These hypocritical schoolmates of mine, I am absolutely certain, were just out to get me into trouble so that I'd get knocked off my prefectorial post, since I was out to kill their joy and reinstate law in a lawless school (like confiscating basket balls when they weren't allowed to play). This feeling further grew in Anderson when I felt that people secretly had this thing against me. That really depressed me for my first term as Section Leader before I picked up the pieces during my second term after getting slapped on the face, that my problem was that I cared too much about these minor issues, but devoted too little time on my section. Edo was really a comfort to me then. I appreciate that he spent time walking down with me after the results of the new NCO board came out. I think I can proudly say I did my job well after that.

Apart from that I have a big anger problem. I pipe it in very well. That's the problem. One day I will explode. The day I just get mad and don't know what to say is the day that I've lost my top. And sadly, someone might get hurt. I still remember how I just yelled at my section that time and I had no idea that I was. Just took over me. And this devil had been coming back for the last few practices. Save me someone from the next occurrence.

Lastly, I am insensitive. But I don't know how to view this. In a sense, it's bad because I don't care for other people's feelings. So I might say something hurtful, and not get stung. But let me assure you that I can be sensitive to changes in a person when they show it. I'm not all that insensitive. However, it may be a good thing because, I believe in saying things that I need to. And one thing I can't stand is apathy/laziness/ignorance. To these people, the only thing that will get them to move is a good shouting and a bit of heat. That I can provide. What disappoints me is how some people are unable to take it in a good way. I get the impression that people just want others to tell them nice things: things they want to hear. Such people are (pardon me really) wimps. Firstly, you won't be able to survive army. Secondly, you won't be able to survive your place of work. Ultimately, you won't survive the world. Bring home message: Receive punishment in the right spirit.

My Duties in Band

Now in shame I hang my head and say once again I've done a lousy job. I've not been developing myself in my art, and I have been deproving as a player. It's already been four months. That's a third of my term gone by. I should be knowing what to do now, and what we must do for the band. But I don't. Really. I don't. I need advice and I shall get it.

I remember telling someone who was scared of her new position in band that I was also scared. I still am. Me and Alex, though we're close and work well, have not been 'working'. So, I have decided to give each score all the scrutiny I can, and Alex and I will discuss performance directions as well. I should be able to conduct a song fairly similar to Alex.

I think I've already dwelt on everything else in a previous post.

That 'Someone'

Strange that I mention it. Never thought I'd do it outright but I've made certain decisions and I must say certain things that you people must promise to be quiet about.

Indeed you know how I feel. But it's been nothing more than a good firm friendship I've wanted to establish, but a bit more than that. Not so far as going steady: nope with all my character flaws the last thing I'd want to do is inflict damage on the other party.

But why then have I this obsession? Why does something come over me when in close contact with her?

And now that I've finally found out who is my legendary 'rival', why am I feeling rotten? A tingle of stories from someone about how great this guy is, a whole pot of low self-esteem to simmer and there brews depression. Er, not that bad lah.

It's weird to think how much one person out of 6 billion in this world can change you as if she were flipping you as a coin. One week, I'm like this, next I feel another way.

The poem that I diplayed on the 5th of September (The Enigma of Beauty), if you haven't guessed, was written by me 'to her'. I don't know what you think of the poem (haha I didn't know I could even write one so long ulp), but yes I actually did something as weird as that. But you are sworn to secrecy now, and no word of this will reach her, you understand? I'm making myself vulnerable in this process of humiliation, so don't strike me or you're immoral.

But anyway...

I've decided that in the light of rivalry, I must get realistic and remain true to myself. I will not try to better myself for someone else. I would rather be me and let people appreciate me for me. This is sad. The reason I let go of someone else last time was for a similar reason. But ultimately, I realised that a girl is not something that I should give my all to. Instead, I have other passions to better the band, school, society blablabla. I want to learn more about this marvellous world, and the amazing world of music. I have my duties to attend to.

As such, I am pleased to say, that operation GAFT is nearly accomplished.

Warning: High dosage of insanity.

That's it. I've decided that you need magic to be able to conduct. Nothing more than magic. You need to pretend that baton was a magic wand. Haha. Don't they look so similar??? Ngghahahaha. Isn't amazing how the same baton in different hands produces two different sounds altogether? Although essentially you're still waving that, stick?

It's communication!!!!!!!!!

And that 1% inspiration 99% perspiration thingy? No that's only for muggers and mugger subjects. Like Biology! And Physics! And Maths! And EVERYTHING we learn in school! hehehe. It's nonsense! In music it's the other way round! 1% perspiration and 99% inspiration!

But imagine the skill and technique that you need to fit within that 1% of perspiration. Wah. Imagine the amount of inspiration you need then!

And I've lacked that kinda inspiration since...I WAS BORN??? Wahahahahaha.

Am I up to it? Really am I?

Well considering that perspiration is my speciality, hehe, it shldn't be a problem EH? Yeah! Muahahahahaha.

That's it. This entry marks the begining of a whole week of no band.

WILL THE WEEK GO BY QUICKLY OR NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reading the Newspaper and Band

Read some commentary by this jackass guy today in reply to some guy who was complaining about how some people wear really offensive shirts. With language or images like a 'third finger'. And his opinion was that Singaporeans should not run to the law when something irritates them. He even relates this to the Buangkok White Elephants. Indeed, complaining to the police is a bit too far. But in the end, he's actually encouraging the wearing of such clothes by just shirking it off as unintentional humour. Sure, having the F word plastered right over your shirt is funny. One day, someone will wear some racist thing on his shirt, and I'd like to see what the author has to say when one of our communities cries out in anger. I suppose that community would be having some disability to laugh at a joke that was made in pure fun.

Man I can't believe that he'd actually laugh at himself if he saw a shirt with a finger jumping out at him!

Then I saw Summerplace in the newspaper! Some article on the second page on how some guy has been trying to champion the good cause of keeping mosquitoes at bay! Well, incidentally, I walked past that guy JUST after they'd finished taking photos. MAN!!! If I had been there just thirty seconds earlier I would have been in the newspaper!!!! aRGGHH. anyway.

In about 8 hours, 'Band-it!' commences. I'm quite convinced that we'd be having someone to play to. I'll only reveal the actual number of tickets sold another time, but yeah. On my part I managed to sell about 10-11 tickets (11 if we count the ticket I helped Hara to sell). Now I think it's quite understandable that people are feeling jittery and all that because we've prepared all this in a matter of two weeks. I calculate that we had only 6-7 practices to run through the songs. As it is, the repertoire was settled only about one and a half weeks ago? Hehe. This is super last minute. But nevermind. AMB was always like that and in the end the concerts were successful. That's because we always knew how to enjoy ourselves on stage. Normally the most glorious moment was on stage, because we do what we should do and shouldn't do when normally during normal practice we do the exact opposite. Hopefully NJCSB is like that...errrr.

Yeah though some of us aren't very confident, I trust that miracles will happen last minute. ALL THE BEST~!

What a Wonderful World

Louis Armstrong

WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD

(George Weiss / Bob Thiele)

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

The colours of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shakin' hands, sayin' "How do you do?"
They're really saying "I love you"

I hear babies cryin', I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll ever know
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
Yes, I think to myself, what a wonderful world

Oh yeah

This is one of those classic songs that lights up your day anytime. It's one of those songs whose tune just stuck with me upon hearing it. It was THAT good to me. When you hear it, you just forget that New Delhi was whacked by an earthquake and not even three weeks later by terrorists, that Iran wants to wipe out Israel from the map just like all the other Arab states. You forget that you have enemies and that you really love your friends

Actually, I got my latest Kenny G album just to hear this song. And of course in the process liked Kenny G a lot more too. Man that guy is mad. I believe he does circular breathing. He sings through his instrument, something all musicians must be able to do. Something I'm trying to achieve one day.

Just the other day I was at a Food Junction, and next to me was this Ang Moh guy sharing a table with an Asian lady. As usual since my ears are overactive I couldn't help but eavesdrop. I don't know how these two were related but I'm supposing that maybe they're business associates. Must be, from what I heard from the lady after that. They were talking about her country and his country. And the lady, for who knows what reason in the world starts talking about something that must've made something in that guy tick...spoiling their whole..what seemed to be a 'romantic' dialogue. eepers jeepers. She said something like..."Ooh...and Germany must be blablabla...I heard that women are really looked down on there. Women blablab don't get equal treatment...yakyak...even in Singapore....yakyak don't see too many women CEOs blabla..." Kablam...I think that started a small peaceful debate between those two but the arrogance that she exuded made my food taste bitter. She made me feel slightly disgusted because she seemed to be old, say her late thirties, but she tried to cover it up with her clothes and make-up, and probably her hours at Marie-France and spas of all sorts. She was hanging around with a youngish Ang Moh guy, giving me the impression that her main goal in life was to get hitched to a young ang moh guy and go shopping all day with his money. Whoa. The way she spoke. With such dignity and style! All so pretentious of course. Yukyukyuk. Anything to impress a foreigner.

As for women and their place in society, I have my beliefs that many girls don't agree with. Firstly, I believe that a woman's main destiny is to become a mother, just as a man becomes a father. That she works is not forbidden, but I strongly believe that if a couple have children, the wife should stay back and look after the child, especially during the first few years (perhaps before the child is stuck in school). It would be sinful if a mother left her child to a grandparent while she worked. Would it really be stretching finances if the double income channel were not maintained? I don't know because I'm not yet an adult. But it would be better to sacrifice certain luxuries to bring up a child. It is sad that many mothers miss this step and leave the grandparents to inculcate all those moral values blabla. The parents of a child should be in charge of raising their children and shaping their character. There's something called a mother's bond that grandparents cannot provide. You see that the aftermath of relying on your parents or maid to look after the young child will be having a disobedient child who does not respect you because she does not know who you are after being away for so long. At the same time, the child will be more attached to someone who isn't directly related to you and that would surely be pitiful right?

Women in the workforce: are they given equal rights? I'm not sure, really. The main argument is that there aren't many women CEOs. The lady in Food Junction's argument is that "There has never been a female Prime Minister." The question is really, has there been a woman who has tried to become a CEO or Prime Minister? Perhaps the ladies you see in the upper rungs of a society like Dr. Diana Young actually tried to do it. As it is, she started her own business(es) and so this shows how initiative on the part of a woman can still get her to a position that is supposedly dominated by men. Perhaps women should reflect on how lucky they are in their offices. Compared to USA, women don't normally face harrassment of any sort. The very fact that girls are given education is already something to be thankful for.

One thing that confounds me is how some women/girls I know want to pursue a prestigious career, and become a good wife! It's impossible! Anyone knows that in today's day and age it's already so difficult keeping yourself sane. Now you want to stay that way with a husband and kids too??? haha what a joke. My whole life's philosophy is that you should concentrate on developing your strengths to the max, instead of trying to be best in everything (the whole darned all-rounded education thing). Either choose a career, or family.

With that comes that dangerous choice that threatens Singapore's fertility rate. One thing I really admire about the government: how do they so tenaciously try to solve the infertility problem? I just resigned to fate and felt that Singapore is doomed to have an aging population and a steady decrease of young talent. Every year we hit a new record. That's because women are choosing to work like men. Will the government then try to destroy the freedom that they've given to women all this while? In that case people like the lady in Food Junction would probably have preferred Germany...

One thing that confuses me...why do women want to pursue a career? I myself hate the thought of joining the workforce one day. Why do they feel obliged to do something that traditionally the husband is meant to do?

Could I get comments from anyone who reads this and has thoughts? You could use my comments if you want to say a lot.

Lastly, I don't mean to be chauvinistic. In no way do I think that women are inferior to men because they made equally. We were created equally. But the thing is that we were given specific roles that aren't being followed, which is why there is impending catastrophe.

P.S. Came back from Serangoon Gardens...the wet market food court I think. It irked me to see that the longest queue belonged to the pigs organs stall.......urrgggh