Happy Cheater's I mean Teacher's day.

It's nearing the end of today and the transition to the next day is approaching, so I must be quick and type down what I want to.

Firstly, Teacher's day had its ups and downs but I think I enjoyed myself. Maybe I should complain first so that my praises would be a bit more resonant. Firstly, the fact that they had to have the celebration under the sun for us to bake like cakes wasn't a very hot idea with me. Lol got the pun? Anyway, with all the running up and down the band had to do to transport stuff here and there, by the time Majulah started, I was begining to have wet patches on my polo tee. By the time we had STARTED the ACES day, my shirt was drenched. When I was conducting, I was not a particularly fancy sight to behold. And when I returned to the band room, I froze.

Secondly, CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT IN THE WORLD MR. MENON WAS DOING WHEN I STARTED THE NATIONAL ANTHEM???? I cannot and will not sleep well until I find out. In the mayhem and chaos that ensued thanks to the listless school population, I just about heard a lot of blabbering, and then 'maktab, something'. I think something= sedia, and although come to think of it, it's the wrong command to begin on (its supposed to be maktab diam), why would the commander blabber all sorts of commands and then only sedia us? I need an explanation as to what happened, because I don't think it was nice of me to make Mr Menon a National shame. So the possibilites are:

1) It's my fault for not being able to hear above the noisy college pop. and pick out the right command

2) It's Mr Menon's fault because he wanted to be a control freak as usual and tell people where to move etc etc.

3) It was due to the incompetency of the commander who was full of nonsense and CMI (cannot make it).

Just to expand on point number 2, though I respect Mr Menon, I think that he's really a control freak. I don't know if it's part of his job title or anything, but anyway isn't he just the HOD of PE? Why must he give orders as to how the morning announcents must go, and why does he give the cue for 'the gods' to stand upon Mount Olympus? To tell a group of students that there's a gap in the middle of the college space is nuts, considering the National Anthem has begun. It's so trivial! Let the students find their own space, or at least freeze and give instructions after that. Even when the MCs are doing their laming, he must give them instructions. Anyway, happy teacher's day Mr Menon.

That's all for the complaining side I guess. As for the ACES day, don't laugh at me but I found it quite fun. Sorry...I get excited when there's a chance for me to uselessly expend my energy. What to do, I'm probably one of the few human beings in this school who is a walking mass of high energy. I need to get rid of it. So this kinda stuff excites me. AndI thought since I'm sweating so much why don't I just sweat some more? Aiyo

Then the band played very well for the two songs. Personally when I was conducting I enjoyed myself a lot, though I kinda lost myself at the last part. The drumset filled in too short so I cut off too late but I hadn't rehearsed taht yet; it was a change made at the 11th hour. Well done NJCSB. All the frustration we went through practicing these two sian songs are over, and now the frustration will once again be on the two PPs to find another suitable song for the Open Day. Anyway, I think today was significant because firstly, it is the second chance that the band is performing for the school (apart from the daily pomp of the nation's and school's songs) and it helped us not only to gain confidence in ourselves but to realise that we are slightly more independent. For me, it's the first time conducting a performance piece; Alex already did everything on National Day. I was quite proud of my first time but I'm not the best and I must work hard on improving myself for next year. And yes I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

Class party was kinda ok considering I helped clear half the food. Ms Chua is a very nice teacher really. What's more, she's actually an Andersonian as well. haha. And her form class has one of the highest proportions of Andersonians in a class! What can I say, once an Andersonian, it haunts you for the rest of your life.

Ok then I went back to Anderson, one hour after the celebrations in Anderson had ended. Wah biang, the teacher's were all going for a cruise for high tea! I thought they had it in hotels normally! Anyway, it was a joy to meet all my ex-classmates and teachers who were still there. Oh no, MdmLoh my bio teacher is not teaching till next year cause she's on maternity leave. I wanted to meet her. Ah well. Next year la.

All in all, I don't like being a wet blanket but I think that we should remove this wave of cynicism for our teachers. They have to do a lot more than we students need to. Sure they behave unacceptably sometimes but so do we. Teachers aren't invincible and they are prone to cracking up at times. Occasions in which they do horrible things are exceptions, I believe. I don't want to criticise them or try to defend my ground by saying that teachers did this and that to me because I don't see how I am perfect in relation to them that I have a right t say anything. Sure I don' like some teachers, but I'd gladly give them their day and wish them teacher's day and acknowledge it as their day. It's just like we have Youth day. Why don't teachers turn around and say that we are this and that and this and that.

Another reason why I am in no position to say anything bad about teachers is that I am a teacher myself, and many of us are teachers too. It's not hard to think about it; as long as we are a leader in any context, if we are seen as mentors or role models, then we are teachers because that is the essence of teaching. And I fall short in many ways. I'm sure many people would be saying those kinda things to me that majority of the Singaporean student population are saying to their teachers.

Sucking up to a teacher is a wide misconception. Doing our homework and being polite and respectful towards our teachers is the role of a student, and not a qualification that 'elite students' are supposed to abide by. We should all try to make our teachers not age so fast by at least doing the right thing. If we do the right thing and they still behave like pigs then they should be sent ot IMH.

I don't think they make our lives miserable, seriously. They mould us to be the future of Singapore. I say this with all sincerity. You can scoff at my statement. But they are really doing the right thing! I mean when we grow up, we're supposed to integrate into the fast pace of society that can't be slowed down even a bit so that Singapore doesn't become redundant in the world economy. We are supposed to be able to work endlessly to meet deadlines and get nothing out of it but money. We're supposed to do all this so that we can participate in the rat race so that we can achieve what we think will give us happiness. We're supposed to make money so that we can buy luxuries only to find that they elude us. This is what the present is like; imagine the future. We are expected to seamlessly fade into the mechanics of society and help grow this tumour that it's become. Teachers help us to do all that. Isn't that great?

In light of this, are we really supposed to blame our teachers for our misery, or society and degradation of the world in this age.

Somebody please tell me what Mr Menon did.

Dead German Composer

Take the Dead German Composer Test!

They mentioned something about Brahms fearing composing so much cause he respected Beethoven but when he started to compose later, all his works were hot. Do you think I'd stand a chance? Fat hope.

Oooh. And I learnt a new swear word while doing this quiz. "FUGUE YOU!!!"

It's scary to know that some people are amazing enough to be best in everything. In every strength that you have, apparently there's another guy who's better than you. And overachievers irk me. What's the point of achieving much in your life? Maybe they like it. I'm more of a one track mind person, so I'd rather concentrate on doing my all for one thing. What's with an all-rouded life? I think the definition of an all-rouder now is one who's best at everything. No. I want to be best in one thing and have my own little interests here and there. No point being a master of all trades because then which one would you choose? As it is, this person I just heard off who's doing so well academically, in CCA, and can cope with a girlfriend, jst happens to be able to sleep 3 hours a day. How many hours is he taking off his life? Beats me, but I know I don't want to try it out! 6 to 8 hours for me strictly please!

A quick update

Just to show you what's been happening in these many days of absence.

Band is having its toll on me now that the real challenge of my post has been released. Band is getting dreary when ppl's attitude are quite sian and it's very frustrating for me. I don't want to dwell on how the recent developments on our teacher's day rehearsal has been going, but I'd very much like people to get a bit serious about what we're doing. I'm not asking for 100% focus. At least adopt a good practice attitude. I know that many of you don't like Stand By Me but it's the best thing we can do now given our resources, trust me and the rest of the musicom. Anyway, give the song a chance, it's really meaningful. I know we're at the most tender moment now taht the seniors have left. Since we're doing this for teacher's day, why can't we dedicated to our 'teachers' in the band, none other than the J2s? Please try not to complain about the choice of song. Let's start off simple and do more progressively challenging songs as we get better, if what you want is an exciting but demanding song. Anyway, thanks for bearing with practice, it'll be over next week.

Work is getting worse and worse. I've now gotten used to surviving on 5 hours of sleep when previously I couldn't even cope with 6 hours in Sec 4. Lately, there's been a big 'hoohah' in our Forum in the Home section of our Straits Times, in which parents complain about their children's schooling life. One letter was especially chilling today...I think the writer's name was Patrick something. He commented on how JC life is doing a good job in getting us used to the real working world. But do we want to end up in such a state? Like how the CEO of some company is still working at 9 (how then would lesser people in the corporate ladder survive with more hours to somehow match up to a CEO's salary?). The whole emphasis on education now is just a preparation for the great Rat Race. "Rest? Rest is for the weak." I despise the rat race simply because we are not rats: We're human beings. We do not allow conceptual forces like work reign over us. I believe that consciously participating in the rat race is weakness because we are giving authority to something that our minds created. How can we give in to our mind? Shouldn't we have dominion over our mind? I despise people who don't mind living in the rat race just because they get their basic 'luxuries' and more, because they don't realise that we're not made to be in it.

Of course some goondu idiot from NJ (I bliv he's an ex-councillor) decides to make the whole issue sound like a no-big-deal just because he's so damn smart he could cram everything into his head within the last few months before his A-levels. I do thank him for his encouraging message, but I think it's not fair to completely exclude the fact that we are missing out on something still. I mean, he may boast he did so well as to qualify for a university in S'pore, and that he had 3 CCAs, still had time to go with friends and blablabla, but I seriously wonder what his relationship with his family is like.

He's looking forward to a few more years of fun-filled learning in university (I wonder if he'll be thinking the same thing throughout). I can make learning fun. In fact I've always thought that learning was fun. Just now while studying for chem I decided to go a bit further and figure out why the stoichiometric ratios in the slow reaction gives the order of reactions relative to those substances, and it was fun! I love Bio because it is great to learn things that are so close to the heart of what life really is. But when all that you love overwhelms you, I'm sure you won't love it as much, in fact it becomes your enemy.

The school must understand that the joy of learning can only go so far, but when the limit is crossed, learning becomes detrimental to health and well-being. THat's the only thing I ask of the school. I still need to find myself so that I'm able to start doing things I truly find meaningful, like creating. Music and art bla bla.

I feel inspiration...

My New Outlook towards Criticism

I hate criticism. People might criticise me and say that it is unwise to not accept criticism. I resent that criticism also. But I feel it is only due to my highly deplorable ego that I can't criticism well. It may be due to insecurity as well, especically when people question what I do as a leader.

But I've realised that it's a bad thing to not take criticism in the right light. And in order to make myself a better person, I shall change my philosophy. Time for a paradigm shift.

So next time someone criticises me (hopefully in front of my face), I will bite my tongue lest I flare up and say somethingI shouldn't. I will look at the person with a straight face. I will not try to justify myself, and protect myself. It's a sign of weakness. Lastly, if a person says that I'm doing something wrongly, I'm not going to remain dead silent about it! I will challenge him back and ask him what he'd do.

The last step is actually a sign of aggression. It will not be done out of niceness or anything. If the person can answer me with a valid answer, then I shall respect him and try to work on it. If not, it just proves that the person has no idea what he's saying and is in no position to criticise me. As it is, I'm very particular about who's criticising me. If it is someone in the appropriate position, I will oblige willingly. If it's someone who is not qualified enough by my standards, I will not listen. This may seem to be extremely selfish because I'm not giving everyone a chance to have their say, but wouldn't you tend to go for the more credible advice? And although I prefer to be tactful, there are some instances when you need t be assertive and let the other party know that their words can't be taken wholely.

If a person has an answer to my challenge and I don't agree with him, I'd give some thought to his advice but I'd rather stick to my own beliefs and shake him off.

So there. You can tell me how rotten my attitude is too. How arrogant I am and all that. Just like in secondary school. Well then, maybe it's no surprise that my section is the best and that many people admire my role as a SL. No I'm not bragging, I'm just showing you that I know what I'm doing. As it is, the best section award was due to the dedication of my own members, not me. But perhaps my arrogance and temper paid off.

So this is my new outlook on criticism.

Dream

Feeling sleepy but need to do a bit of an outpouring of my heart.

What's with a dream? My conductor used to talk about the Singporean worker and the American. He tells of how Singaporeans fare better in education, get scholarships etc etc and end up working for someone else. The Americans have the 'American Dream'. In the end they produce the world's leading economy. I think it's because of the fact that Singaporean scholars have a lower EQ, as testified by my landlord's wife who works at some ministry. I guess Singaporean kids have brains, but all through their life they've only applied it to doing well in their exams so they can just live a brighter future and please someone (in particular, their parents I guess). I read in the book why Westerners are more creative than Asians that Asians live in a social type which forces them to do things to be accepted by society, or to pleae society, which is totally opposite from the Westerners.

Why can't we have a dream in Singapore? I was watching Shooting Stars and the part that stung the most was when Sly's 'dad' told him to stop dreaming. For your information, he was working at his dad's coffeeshop ad frequently arrived late becuase he composed songs on his guitar. And I felt like cursing 'dad' (not Sly. I curse sly all the time) for being such an old fool for killing the flame of passion in his son just because his was snuffed out.

Why is life such a unidirectional current in Singapore? Why must we be swept away by school's requirements, society's expectations and sometimes parent's hopes? We're kids! Might I be rebellious and say I never want to grow up and do things your ugly adultish way? The perverse dream of the grown up is to have the 5Cs and a pretty wife to go with it. What about the kids on TV on National day who said they want to become astronauts? What'll become of them?

Why can't the world let us be?

I've always wanted to be Peter Pan.

It may be madness that once I thought I could make it in music. It's something that can't be achieved here. Sad tht SSO has to import players and bribe them to become Singapore citizens. So the dreams of many potential players must be snuffed out because they can't make it as a player here, and we can conveniently get some from outside. And we hope to make Singapore a vibrant city by doing that. Our own people just take to their offices while foreigners are placed on the fringes, showing the world that we are bustling in the arts. Nice one ar.

Society sets the norms. Norms are against us. Society is evil to us. THAt's why democracy is evil. Communism too. Anything that involves some form of society. But that's how humans are meant to live.

I realised just now after listening to AMB's recording of the SYF 2003 (which i nearly mistook for the original), that our sweat and blood played a small role.

Our sweat and blood is made complete with the Dream

If AMB hadn't wanted that Gold so much, we wouldn't have gotten it. That was our dream.

Do you really think that we'll reach out for the skies like that Rui En keeps on crooning? Not a chance. It's just some lousy gimmick to mindlessly make Singaporeans hyper over the fourtieth (XL) b'day of the Nation.

But ultimately, is it society's fault that dreams don't last, or our fault?

Think about it.

National Day Eve

Today, I am a free man.

Free from the wretched grip of the demon, Cultural mapping.

No longer subject to Ms Phua.

I can expect my work to magically be done now, because I don't have to concentrate on doing CM anymore. Of course I still haven't dealt with the issue of laziness but that's secondary.

Today, the NDC march in still proceeded because the rain had stopped. What a pity that I had to miss the band. While you guys were playing I was stuck outside the bookshop waiting for my chariot (the bus) to take me to the underworld (Zhenghua Primary School). Me and my bus guide weren't fully prepared, and in fact we changed the route twice before leaving. Yet it was extremely pleasant to have Mr Barber with me on the bus as the teacher in charge as well as the teacher of 04IP02, the class that befriended the Primary school kids. I really admire Ang Mohs, they are extremely friendly yet authoritative. I should have taken Geography.

Back to the point. Reached the primary school...it's a really backward looking school..even St Gabriel's Primary in my time looked a thousand times better. But the kids there are well-behaved and so being a tour guide wasn't at all that difficult. In fact they enjoyed themselves at the Bukit Timah train station. But they got bored along the way. I said "OK guys, we're now reaching our second last stop" and they all sighed "What? I thought this is the lsat stop!!". Ok, that's not good on my rep, but heck. It's over and I'm glad.

I'm sorry I decided not to go to Kbox later on because I was apprehensive about doing karaoke, and then it seemed a bit expensive to do it. Plus it ws at Clementi which is a bit far. But I think it was especially despicable of me to jump the wagon and go with my class in the end, since it seemed to be more practical. I effectively left Alex all alone and the girls all went without me. Sorry to disappoint you.

At least I came home and caught up on the few hours of sleep that I required to catch up on. Nice way to end the day

Now the prospects of doing homework and PW stuffies is not palatable.

Tomorrow is the nation's birthday. But it isn't anything ordinary, it is the fourth decade that Singapore has seen since independence. It's kinda like ND XXXX to Singapore as is Etude XXX is to NJCSB. I am supposing that tomorrow's festivities are gonna be really spectacular.

But somehow, after being in Singapore for so many years, my feelings have changed.

For one thing, I'm being more and more exposed to the undesirable lifestyle that we live in Singapore: The Rat Race. In the rat race there's the paper chase. Everything involves time, and there's so little of it. In this country, we must devote our very lives to getting a good education and job. It's the government's ploy to increase it's income (what GDP, revenue, blabla). If you get a good job, you contribute to the economy, and that adds up to the nation's prosperity.. It seems that there's an obsession with the economy. Initially, it was a justifiable concern, because for this nation to survive, we had to grow economically and our forefathers did a good job at it. But somehow along the way, things got messed up. I must say that the Old Guard of Singapore, including the father of the nation, Mr Lee Kuan Yew and the rest, truly deserve respect for what they've done. He is a man of great principle, who doesn't compromise sound values for economic benefit.

Now, it's shocking how willingly the government would implement plans and policies that hav proven to be socially destructive like building casinos, and other distasteful productions that are supposed to jazz up the arts scene. I can never forget the question I raised at the forum last time on Good Governance. It was a shame. From the first slide to last...good governance basically revolved around making Singapore economically competitive and blablabla. How come nothing was mentioned about social cohesion and welfare and blablabla, all the good stuff we learnt in social studies? And even more shocking was the fact that when I asked him my question, he replied me with an answer that made me gape. "Who says that casinos are wrong?" Why then does the government see the need to establish restrictive measures, which will probably be ineffective? Nice contradiction.

Singapore is truly a blessed country. It has had many passionate individuals who've toiled for our present. I can name a few famous philantrophists whose names go down in history. To think that we've grown from a third world coutry to a first world in such little time is so amazing that Presidents from abroad acknowledge this feat. However, I just hope that the objectives and the vision of our current leaders do not change, and place economy on a pedestal high above anything else, like the well-being of the people, and social harmony. Many great nations and civilisations rise up from the dust, only to return to it. The rise and the fall of civilisations. We see America and it's shameful what a state they've reached. It's the world's major superpower, and the attrocities that occur there are shocking. But if the US has been through such a long history to reach this state, how much worse would it be for Singapore, whose come to a near equal status in such little time?

I am thankful that NDP helps us to remember and celebrate what Singapore has weathered. But the true celebration shouldn't be just once a year. A parade shouldn't be the only thing that gives us reason to be patriotic. Whatever happens in the next 365 days determines how I feel for my country. And I hope that my outlook does not get bleaker.

You don't fool me

The title of this entry is the title of a Queen song that I'm listening to right now. It's one of those angsty songs, where Freddie Mercury says that this girl doesn't fool him, and that she'll take you and break you and break you and sooner or later you'll be playing by her rules...it kinda antagonises the lady. I don't think it's the kinda song I should listen to.

But more apt is this title for what's been happening these past few days. I can't elaborate on it, but it's made me think about a couple of things. I wanted to share my views a bit deeper but I suddenly felt that someone might be watching me. 'nuff said

but i do confess that it provided me a good opportunity to hehehehehehehehe. i think only those who were there wld know :)

As for the rest of the crappy stuff that's happened throughout the week, I've forgotten about it. A bit of music and a good MSN chat sorts things out. So sorry that I can't pour my heart out today. Maybe I should leave something that will make your visit a worthwhile one...





er can't think of anything. I suck. bye bye

Band recently...

It's been exactly a week since my new appointment and 4 days since Saturday, when I was officially appointed as the succeeding Principal Player (PP) during the Annual General Meeting (AGM). Pardon my many abbreviations but they'll come in handy to me. Oh and on the same day (night actually) was Victory Night (V-nite).

Just last Wednesday I as in the Cultural mapping van being whisked around Bukit Timah to take videos, anxiously awaiting the results of the music com. When I got the news, it was a bit scary, due to no prior experience in conducting. Oh. Yes I have conducted a band before, and that was in Sec 3's Art's Festival. And the band broke down. Haha. So you could understand my fear. Anyway, I was very pleased with the rest of the Music com.

Principal players: Alex and Craig (it feels weird putting your own name in your blog)

Section leaders
Flute: Hara
Clarinet: Trinetta and Ashley (ASL)
Saxophone: Samuel (Yu Heng oooops)
Lower winds: Eng Hong and Vanessa (ASL)
Trumpet: Wilson
French Horn: Natalie
Trombone: Kar Wai
Tuba: Ching Tong
Percussion: Hwee Chong and Shu Heng (I hope I got this right)

We've got with us a competent team and I'm sure taht if we work well together and are committed to our roles, the band will flourish by next year.

Everyday has been new to me. As a PP, I have to learn new things wuickly, and make sure that I don't decrease in my playing standard. That's going to be tricky. I must now balance conducting, playing and studying. What's more, when I first started off, I felt so weird conducting. I didn't do it horribly, just that firstly, people thought the national anthem was too slow, and the previous PPs had much to say about my technique. No matter, I'm getting more and more confident everyday. I'll soon reach what Youzhi calls the state where you're no longer conscious of what other people think of you when you're conducting. haha. Anyway, apart from that, for the last week, everyday has presented me with new challenges. Firstly, the problem of conducting, and then the problem of where to put the Tubas, and then new members who wanna join the band. It's only gonna get more fun.

I've been talking to the PPs of batch 2004 and asking them for advice. Boyang has been very helpful teaching me how to conduct. Youzhi has been instrumental in my understanding of sound and also of other JC bands' cultures (that's the BM side of him speaking to me!). Anyway, I am intrigued by other bands now; the way they carry out their practices, they're style of practicing, what and how they learn music, and also the quality of players and the band's sound ultimately. Personally, I think that if we in NJCSB could get a bit serious about personal development, and concentration during practice. With a bit more enthusiasm correctly channeled into playing, we can reach the standard of these other top JC bands, and not only that, we can become better than them, so that one day, they will not just refer to NJ band as NJ band, but will refer to our band with awe, and wil not be able to wait to see our concerts, and will tell their juniors about us. Whoa. These all seem like big words but heavens I don't want end my tenure not seeing results close to these. Sure it will take time but I want to catalyse the increased in fame of our band.

AGM: Quite a ceremony. A lot of speeches. Were a bit dreary but good to listen to. I'll just have to spice up my speech next year. We had to sign our names, shake hands with our seniors who we're succeeding and then take the pledge. Very ceremonial. But I was proud to be a part of the new music committee.

V night: Crap. They made us do some real horrible things, like making us pose stupidly (blindfolded mind you) and then taking photos of us. Plus, they made us do alot of naughty things. Hand holding, proposals, and two timing. A bit of gay scenes as well. Ah well. But ultimately, that blindfold session ended with us crawling through a tunnel of chairs. I hit my head 6 times inside. The seniors had to shove my head so low just to get me into the tunnel first of all la. Ah well. Then there was this cat walk session, where a boy was supposed to catwalk with a girl whom the crowd called out. A potential matchmaking exercise. Good thing someone came late, otherwise they would have saboed us both la. Heng. After that we ate, and then was a drag queesn competition. Alex won. He really looked like a Porn star. V night ws a lot of fun. With all the photos and lights.

This week has been a really great week. And the next year will be a exciting one for me too!