Quiz

Your Birthdate: October 18

Your birthday on the 18th day of the month suggests than you are one who can work well with a group, but still remain someone who needs to maintain individual identity. There is a humanistic or philanthropic approach to business circumstances in which you find yourself. You may have good executive abilities, as you are very much the organizer and administrator. You are broad-minded, tolerant and generous; a compassionate person that can inspire others with imaginative ideas. Some of your feelings may be expressed, but even more of them are apt to be repressed. There is a lot of drama in your personality and in the way you express yourself to others. Oddly enough, you don't expect as much in return as you give.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Quite true la. I do like to work in groups. I am imaginative and I can be full of drama. Unfortunately, the only thing I don't like about this quiz is the fact that you now all know how much younger I am in comparison to you..... (yes! I'm an October baby but I'm still bigger than you!!!!)

You Are 17 Years Old

17 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Bingo! I'm 16 going on 17. Sadly, I thought this quiz was stupid as half the questions were inappropriate. Like what's your favourite rock band? Queen wasn't there. What's your definition of an ideal party? Lotsa free alcohol? I don't even go to parties! Stil...

You Are 65% Normal (Really Normal)

Otherwise known as the normal amount of normal You're like most people most of the time But you've got those quirks that make you endearing You're unique, yes... but not frighteningly so!

How Normal Are You?

Damn. I don't like this. They asked stupid questions again. Anyone knows I'm far from normal.

Your Brain is 46.67% Female, 53.33% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

This only confirms the fact that I'm not a brutal male.

Freedom of Speech

Just came back from Chia Jiesin's performance at the Esplanade. The performance was fantastic! AJC band and CO put up a stupendous work together. It would have been nearer to perfect if I wasn't given a ticket at the third circus which is horribly high. And given my chronic fear of heights. you can lol.

Been reading a couple of ppl's blogs lately, and the issue has reverted to the function of a blog. It's really ironic that blog users don't know what they're doing, and question the very necessity for having a blog. There are some people who (surprisingly) rant about how there's nothing worth blogging (and then they continue for ages about how life sucks which is a blogging). Then there are those that complain about how they're robbed of their freedom of speech nowadays. Maybe we oughta explore this issue â la Craig.

I just know the blog is a WEBlog. A log is something you use to record data in chronological form. So doesn't this imply then that it is more like a diary? But then a diary-writer will have the tendency to spill his emotions and thoughts into his writings. This then also implies that diaries are a tool for the expression of one's thoughts. Elementary, this may seem. The tricky part comes when we need to know where our thoughts should be exposed and when not.

My take on freedom of speech? Go and say what you want at all! It's not wrong. Freedom of speech itself is a right given to us. But if we look more closely into this pervasive problem of blog scandals, then maybe we need to examine what 'speech' is presented for all public to see. In the first place, is it for the public to be seen?

If we have assumed already that a blog is a diary, then we must accept the fact that blogs retain the privacy and secrecy that a diary traditionally has. The only variable that's been changed in the blog is the element of privacy. It's no longer yours to keep. The world knows what you think. Then doesn't this irk you? You become a transparent being, waiting to be scruntinised by public. Thoughts are no longer sacred. They aren't given space to develop further through meditation. For once a person has blogged, it's quite unlikely they'll go back and read their recent previous posts. At least I don't. So we get extremely raw and unprocessed thought. The value of thought is undermined.

Now that the value of thought has been reduced, what quality do we see? Those of rage, prejudice and bitterness? Like those of racist nature that got the A* scholar in so much trouble? Or that of NS men being whiny? Sure, these pinpointed controversies may be comments that are made out of impulse, but not all are like that. Some are made in total bloodthirst. Intentional attacks. They indicate that the personality of the blogger is one that has been shaped to hate. Personally, I don't trust thoughts from a soul like that. Many of these people have no idea why they hate. Have they really meditated on why they do so? Why do they have a need to abuse their freedom of speech to declare their abhorrence for a particular person or thing? Their thoughts are not ripe....

The sin is that the blog is being abused as a medium for exercising freedom of speech. And so I shall use mine to exercise mine.

I certainly don't care what people say because they are they. I am I. Freedom of speech has already given them a legitimate means of justifying their actions. In fact, I don't think the law will make any progress in it's divine mission by punishing those who slander, be it in life or on blogs. Principals and the ministry have the duty of moulding (not 'mould'-ing) our minds into 'future leaders of tomorrow' and whatnot, but the fact is, their responsibility is to make sure that morally and in terms of maturity, we grow up the right way. So I agree that the scholars and students deserve punishment for their scathing remarks. As for those who are under no such wing, they deserve to say what they want. All they will be is just another reminder to us that humanity plunges to waste and self-destruction. How people will use the media to achieve fame, and they use that fame to destroy others, and create more war than there already is. That's all it ends in: destruction.

Why does the law go after us? Essentially, communication of any means is a form of transmitting ideas. This will inadvertently influence other people who participate in the form of communication. We may think that our remarks do not brainwash people, but naturally, people who may read our blogs will agree. Either some people will believe what we say and join in our retaliant ways, or some other people will agree with us and push things to another level, something far worse. OUR WORDS HAVE THE POWER TO INFLUENCE.

A right is not just given to us, it is entrusted in us. It is a responsibility. Cliche. But it means more to me now. I don't want to abuse that right. That is why I ensure that I do not consciously slander any particular person or instituion or whatsoever.

And someone else mentioned that a good blogger must be witty and have snide remarks. I don't believe in entertainment. It can be totally defiling at times. Sure we get a good laugh but our thoughts can be shaped against the person the remarks were intended for. It's not true that sharing personal thoughts is a sign of weakness. Recognising one's weakness is strength in itself. I feel I am more accountable to people who read my blog, because the public is watching out for my actions. There was this saying by this ol' chinese warrior guy, I just can't seem to rmb how it goes. I think it's something like, hide your strengths and expose your weakness. Ironic it seems, but it's like defense is your best offense. I think I floppped in this part.

Anyhow, as for me, my blog will be a site where my friends will know more about my weaknesses. I want people to know I'm not invincible and I need care as much as I want to care. My blog will be a site where my foes are uncertain of my strengths, for they will only be absorbed in my weaknesses. By then, they would've been transformed into strength.

For now, you chose the way you run your blog, and I'll choose the way I run mine. My thoughts may be meaningless and petty to you. But they are precious to me.

The end of the bug

This marks the 7th day since I blogged and the sixth day since my body was plagued by this wretched infection.

Well, the details are gory (think mucus and clot blood coming out of your nose). Apparently it was a sinus infection, which was followed by a soar throat, which was so bad I gleefully made a bet with my friends that I had laryngitis. Sadly, the doctor said nothing about it. But what I hate so much about this recent sickness is that it's been darn long. 6 days is nothing funny...I usually recover in 2. And the fact that there was the discharge of blood and this oscilation between a flu and soar throat disoriented me. I didn't go to school on wednesday and that was a bummer. Missing lessons is nothing worth rejoicing over. Come to think of it, this is the fourth time I'm missing school this year. The number of days I missed in Sec 1 and 2 combined totals 3 days. And in one quarter that time, I've managed to overshadow that figure. Congratulations.

This whole week has seen no band practices. Firstly, it's frustrating that you're sick and the medication takes away your energy when you don't want it to. Secondly,not being able to toot the flute is horrible. Not even for morning assembly!! So I thought enough was enough, I would play the flute on Friday for morning assembly no matter what. And I did. But all that came out were squeaks (although dx still complained that I was so loud he couldn't hear himself. He thinks! Perhaps his right ear is not fully functional). Now I know how much of lungs I really use when playing that tube!

And the other thing that bug disrupted was my new-found resolve to go running everyday after College Day. But I don't think it's good to run with a bleeding nose eh? So that was my new and improved body screwd up.

I realised that perhaps the word 'will' is not being interpreted in the right context anymore. To be specific, when we make a promise, like "We will put up a good performance," the focus is not on striving for a good performance. The assumption is made that the ability to do a good job is already in our hands. The word that we should use in its substitution is 'must'. "We must put up a good performance". This implies that there is a neccesity to push the envelope: the present is not satisfying enough. I think that this is a reason why I reprimanded Pauline the Hippo 2 years ago when the SYF awaited us. I couldn't tolerate her MSN nicks that all revolved around AMB gonna get Gold and all that..."We will get Gold". I warned her not to put all her hopes or the sting of not getting it will be too painful. The impression I was getting at that time was that people were already confident that the Gold was ours already weeks before the competition! The last thing I wanted was for people to end up coming back to school the same way they had come back 2 years beofore that: in tears.

This is all a matter of words. "Can", "Will" and "Must" represent different degrees of ability or resolve. Linguistics are part of psychology. Telling yourself you 'must' do it inherently evokes a significant amount of determination in you. And that's what will take you through your journey of making music.

YUCk...that sounded so Adam Khooish!

To end off, I'll present to you my form of Adam Khoo's philosophy.

Adam Khoo's Philosphy: "If I can't, I must!"
Slacker's Philsophy: "If I can, I mustn't!"

P.S. Adam Khoo owns this phrase. All copyright goes to him. But the latter is strictly mine!!!

Chariot

Cute song by Gavin Degraw.

Well...laptop's in my room. Made it all mine with MSN and Noteworthy composer in case I suddenly get inspired (it's been a really long time).

It's been 4 weeks of coming back late nearly everyday. First SYF, then College day. So hectic! Anyway, my hmwk is begining to come under control. I think.

Nothing much to say. Well there is, just that everyday something new comes up and I forget what happens next day. I like sleeping cause when I wake up the next day it's a beautiful new day! This week has been trying for me emotionally alright.

The most significant thing I can rmb happen this week was the AMB demon coming back in me...the Craig's alter ego. The perfectionist streak, frustration, bad and short temper. I nearly destroyed my stand. And I hated practice because no one was paying attention to the conductor. People were out of tune. I was out of tune. This that this that so many things going through my mind. My blood boils too easily in these kinda situations. Harumph. If I become a leader in the band, the only thing I'd fear is the reemergence of the alter ego of Craig.

Ah well. The scandal simmers, but more people are getting to know about it. sheesh...

Ok I sign out now. I should be doing my history assignment. But nvm. Mr Lo's been promoted to VP and he's sick. The 2 best things that cld happen to me now

O! AQIC! AQIC! I82QB4IP! translation: Oh! I queue I see! I queue I see! I hate to queue before I pee!

Salami tactics do not work on homework.

Here's line-up of the trauma I expect within this week...

Homework undone: Includes Maths: Trigo 1, Trigo tutorial 2. GP: Half done, History: the Assignment on Cold War, Chemistry: tutorials and studying for test on tuesday, Bio: dunno if must do teh mitosis tutorial but even then, I've only done 1 or 2 random questions. So exciting. PW, GPP not done yet, will discuss tmrw.

And not to mention College Day Rehearsals. I've seen a different side to my much-loved ex-GP teacher Mr Whitby. The 'Simon Cowell' side of him. Extremely demanding is he in our rehearsals. Can't blame him if there're only 3 of 'em. I seriously believe he is the man for the job. He might put lotsa pressure on us but that' what we need. And I will work well with him.

I've become subject of scandal but that's ok. I'll just destroy anyone who dare mock me. Muahahaha.

Mr Ho has always talked about the spirit of the band. Indeed, I think that's another attribute that has led the band to this stage of musicality. With people who love each other and music, it's inevitable that our product will be of a glory of greater standard. When the people in the band are united so will music. If AMB can apply this to them, then things will turn out better. The common denominator, the binding agent, must be the love and want to make music. That'll bring about magic. I'm glad to have experienced that in NJCSB.

And yes I agree with everyone else that I respect the old wise Associate Professor Ho. Not only did he brave sickness to help us practice, did so much as to educate us on what music is....how to get it into our blood, etc. He's a remarkable man.

I'm having a problem now. Some people have said I've got a good round tone, some people say I'm airy. Who to believe, I don't know. But since even my senior says that I sound airy, I needta look into it. What kind of airy? I definitely don't have the beginer's airy sound. Maybe I have a pseudo-fluid kinda airy tone, then one that sounds like water but doesn't have it viscosity. haha. Whatever the case, I've been doing a bit of soul searching on this and I've realised that I'm probably not focusing my air into the embouchure hole enough. Meaning that my air pressure probably isn't high enough, or my lipping is wrong. The angle I'm shooting into the flute might need adjustment. I think I've forgotten my pre-O level embouchure. At that time it was much better.

Another aspect is the fact that I've realised I need to start building up a library, or rather, a arsenal of tone colours. I need to experiment and find out what embouchure gives what tone, then I need to be able to recall it. After capturing the embouchure, the trickier part wil be deciding which is for what. It's all part of musical interpretation. The thing is, it'll be very challenging. I have this problem that I bad tone days and good tone days. I sometimes play good, I sometimes do not. So I need to change this and have control over my flute. CONTROL I NEED!

To end this off...ARGHHHH!!!

NJCSB: Gold with honours

That makes us top 3 bands!

I was so zapped by the announcement of the results and also by the way I reacted that I lost blood and nearly fell down. I couldn't stand straight. Scary.

But a joy.

Unfortunately I admit I had a very negative attitude to what we did. I seriously admit that I'm probably the only one who missed out on the Gold with Honours because I was so caught up in my mistakes and in trying to listen out to others and keep in time that I did not feel music in either song. And I was even more saddened by the small breakdown in the later parts of Amazonia. I thought that a gold would be miraculous.

Obviously that wasn't the case. If NJCSB got a gold with honours, then that means that we did emanate a kind of magic in our music. And mistakes weren't that blaring.

I'm thrilled NJCSB has emerged victorious. I'm just uspet and apologetic that I missed out on the victory. Sorry this has to sound so morose. But it matters much to me.

I need to say sorry. For not yielding to the music, and for being so negative. It's really a shame that I did this, and I still belong to a Gold with honours band. I'm undeserving of this privelege. Please forgive me.

Other than that, a sincere congrats to all my fellow band mates who sacrificed much and reaped much. I think we definitely went through a trying yet proving process. Thank you so much.

But I resent the fact that people decided to make me the centre of scandal in Lau Pa Sat today.

I've finally regained full and official custody of my room!!!